Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
