i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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