Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
