"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
