I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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