She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
