Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
