There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
