This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
