Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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