i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
