Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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