I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
