In the future we'll all be gay
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
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