Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
