Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
