He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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