drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize