i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
