Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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