Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
