Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
