apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
