I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
