Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
ok first of all what the fuck
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
