I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i think my cat just said my name.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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