Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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