Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Panties = found
Randomize
