Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
