all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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