How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
