Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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