escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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