Can Purell be used as lube?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Panties = found
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
