I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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