HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
