Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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