My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
