You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
