Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
that is very illegal...i love you.
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