hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
