I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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