They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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