Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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