I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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