Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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