On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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