it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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