we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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