Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
