Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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