There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
