Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
