He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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