do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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