it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
