There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize