didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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